When I set out to discover what people think the most unattractive qualities in a partner are, I first made sure to stress that this wasn’t about physical appearances. There’s no need for that kind of negativity here or anywhere for that matter. Plus, they’re truly not what comes to mind when we think of times where someone we were interested in was no longer attractive to us.
This article was meant to inform – not berate – people and highlight the qualities men and women find most unattractive. Who knows, it could be these qualities that are keeping you from experiencing true love or companionship.
What I was surprised to find after sending a callout for responses on the subject was that many more women wanted to share their opinions on the matter than men. These women truly wanted to express the characteristics they don’t much care for!
After reviewing all the responses I received, from lack of compassion to narcissism, I discovered that the unattractive qualities people mentioned could apply to anyone, regardless of gender. Here are the personality traits that were most unattractive:
1. A Lack Of Compassion
Nobody enjoys dealing with narcissists. Women who are egocentric, all about themselves and their own problems, and always create drama around them. It’s like whenever they have a problem, they run to you, act like they’re your best friend. But when you’re the one with the problem, they act like it’s nothing, and tell you to ‘move on and forget it’. Absolutely can’t stand these women. – Vivi, 28
2. Too Much Drama!
One of the most unattractive qualities is a gossipy, foul-mouthed individual who speaks badly of others. My motto: if you have nothing nice to say about someone, shut thy trap! – Lucie, 48
3. Shallow Interests
Lack of interest in intellectual subjects is a big turn-off. – Peter, 54
4. An Affinity For Game-Playing
Playing hard to get, even in the slightest, is a huge turn-off. Most quality folks will do what we call the ‘hard next’. Meaning they will move on if someone is not clearly interested from the beginning. – Andy, 31
5. Insecurities
As a doctor, I can say that based on what I hear from men and women, the two most unattractive qualities that stop people from pursuing relationships further are insecurity and mistrust. While many have had experiences that made them feel this way, most people are not willing to wait for them to work through these issues or to start a relationship built upon them. – Nikki, 46
6. One-Upping
If someone is subtly (or overtly) competing with me or others during a conversation, I don’t want to continue talking with them or make them a part of any future conversation. This kind of competitiveness comes out in things like name-dropping. When you are excitedly telling others about a new experience, they mention how they’ve already been there and done that, and in general, these competitive folks usurp group discussions. – Marilyn, 49
7. Pessimism
Somebody who is very negative about everything – you know, a pessimist, a “Debby Downer.” I understand that some negativity is warranted every now and then, but it should definitely be countered by some positivity. If not, you kind of put a damper on everything. – Jared, 28
8. Narcissism
People who incessantly talk about how busy they are. Like, we’re all busy. Get over yourself. – Stephanie, 23
9. Elitism
Someone who speaks about their job and wealth as a means of positioning themselves higher on the social ladder. Nobody cares about your annual salary; you’re bragging and I don’t like it. If you make so much money, how about you pay for my dinner? – Laura, 32
