To put things into perspective, my daughter’s boyfriend is 42, which makes him 23 years older than her. My husband and I are 47 and 46, so there’s almost no age difference between us and him. They’ve been dating for over half a year, having met just before she turned 19. While we suspected she was seeing someone, she’s always kept her relationships private, so we respected her boundaries and didn’t pry.

She has had four relationships with boys her age that we’re aware of, but we know there’s been more. This isn’t her first experience dating an older man, but she has assured us that she was at least 18 in all her previous relationships.

My husband and I are both uneasy about the situation, and we’re unsure about our next steps. We want to have another conversation with her and decide whether or not we should meet him. She’s a junior in college and still lives at home, but she is an adult, and our primary concern is her safety.

What she’s told us about him (keeping in mind she might not be telling us everything):

– He’s divorced but doesn’t have children.– They met online.– He “isn’t a bum.” He owns a business and seems to be doing well. She only shared his first name, so we can’t verify anything.– He doesn’t have a criminal record.– He doesn’t want marriage or children.

She insists she’s never felt uncomfortable or creeped out by him. She says he respects her and treats her well.

We’re torn about meeting him. On one hand, meeting him might help us understand the situation better, but it could also be quite awkward for everyone. They have no plans for moving in together or getting married, but if their relationship lasts at least another year, we might have no choice but to meet him at her graduation.

We’re not sure what else we should do or ask. Should we just let things be and maintain an open channel for her to come to us if she needs? Any advice, experiences, or further questions are welcome.