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  I LET OUR DOG SLEEP NEXT TO OUR TODDLER—AND NOW MY PARTNER WON’T SPEAK TO ME

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  THE HORSE BROKE THROUGH OUR KITCHEN DOOR—AND I WOKE UP TO A NIGHTMARE

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  THEY LAUGHED WHEN I SAID I MILK COWS—BUT THEN CAME THE REUNION

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  I TOOK MY NEPHEW TO THE FARM TO TEACH HIM A LESSON—BUT HE ENDED UP TEACHING ME ONE

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  MY FARM DOG CAME BACK WITH A HORSE—AND A MYSTERY I DIDN’T EXPECT

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  MY GARAGE KEY SNAPPED, UBER BAILED, AND I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE A MILLION-DOLLAR DEAL

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  MY DOG GOT MAULED—AND THEN WE GOT BLAMED FOR IT

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  MY FATHER-IN-LAW MOVED IN “TEMPORARILY”—NOW HE’S REARRANGING MY LIFE

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  MY BALD FATHER-IN-LAW HEARD MY PRIVATE PHONE CALL—AND NOW HE WON’T LOOK ME IN THE EYE

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  MY WIFE STOPPED DOING ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE—AND I THINK I KNOW WHY

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  MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SAID SHE’D STAY “JUST A FEW DAYS”—IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS

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  I FOUND A LITTLE GIRL SITTING ALONE IN THE RAIN—AND SHE WOULDN’T TELL ME HER NAME