Whether we’re single, have a significant other, or find ourselves somewhere in a murky in-between, the inevitability of prying family members asking about marriage looms large. These well-meaning inquisitors might not realize that millennials are more disenchanted with the idea of marriage than any generation before them. It might be time to cool it with the future wedding interrogations.
Back in 2014, a Pew Research Center survey showed that a whopping 61 percent of people over 65 thought marriage was crucial for society’s well-being. Meanwhile, only 29 percent of Gen Y agreed. As they say, times are changing. Even if the allure of marriage is there, millennials and many others aren’t in a rush to glide down the aisle. The median age for first-time marriages in the U.S. hit record highs: 27.1 for men and 25.3 for women.
Cold feet aren’t reserved for millennials, though. The U.S. Census reported that the number of couples aged 50-plus cohabiting sans wedding bands rocketed from 1.2 million in 2000 to 2.8 million in 2010. Financial reasons like Social Security or pension benefits often make marriage less appealing. So, maybe marriage isn’t the golden ticket after all.
Here are eight compelling reasons you might consider skipping marriage altogether:
1. Marriage Is Going Out Of Style
According to the Pew Research Center, the number of married adults in America has taken a nosedive. Only half of Americans were married in 2010, compared to 72 percent in 1960. Adding to this, a record number of adults over 25 have never tied the knot.
Modern relationships reflect this trend. Moving in together has become the new norm, and both partners often have their own careers and ambitions. The once cherished financial stability of marriage isn’t quite what it used to be.
2. You Can Opt For A Domestic Partnership Instead
Marriage isn’t the only way to get that legal recognition as a couple. Eleven states offer domestic partnerships, providing a formal acknowledgment similar to marriage. Benefits differ by location, so check your area’s specifics if you’re considering it.
Do keep in mind, however, that domestic partnerships might not be recognized outside your state or country, which could complicate matters if you’re planning to move.
3. So Many Marriages End In Divorce Anyway
While divorce rates have declined over the past two decades, hovering around 3.6 divorces per thousand people in 2011 compared to 4.7 in 1990, they’re not extinct. Around 30 percent of 90s marriages ended before the 15-year mark. We’ve seen our fair share of celebrity splits and “conscious uncouplings,” haven’t we?
The real kicker? Only 29 percent of divorcees say they’d jump back into marriage waters. Ouch, indeed.
4. You Don’t Need To Be Married To Fulfill A Lifelong Commitment
Movies and fairytales have long sold us the narrative that marriage equals ultimate commitment. Realistically, you don’t need a legal contract to know you’re in it for the long haul. Historically, marriage was more about economics than starry-eyed romance anyway.
5. Historically, The Institution Of Marriage Considered Women As Property
Speaking of history, marriage was once less about love and more about practicality, often treating women as property. Under 19th-century English law, a married woman’s legal identity practically vanished. The 1882 Married Women’s Property Act began to change things, but the legacy lingers in traditions like the father “giving away” the bride.
6. You Don’t Have To Be Married To Have Children
A 2010 Pew survey found that 40 percent of millennials consider marriage obsolete, even when it comes to raising a family. In 2011, 40 percent of children were born to single mothers, suggesting the nuclear family model isn’t the only way to go.
7. You Might Feel More Independent If You’re Not Married
According to a 2010 Pew survey, 24 percent of singles believe that marriage could hinder career goals. Married life has slightly earned a rep for potentially limiting financial freedom and social life, though these wouldn’t universally hold true for everyone.
8. Not Getting Married Is Not Synonymous With Being Alone
Let’s bust the myth that skipping marriage equals eternal solitude and feline companionship. Remaining unmarried doesn’t mean missing out on companionship or long-term commitment. You can enjoy the freedom and thrill of dating or thrive in a long-term relationship without the conventional trappings.
Ultimately, the decision to sidestep marriage boils down to what works best for you. Society’s slowly moving away from perceiving unmarried individuals as lonely or unfulfilled, so why not embrace the freedom to chart your own path?
