Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to take a look around with Jan, his regular saleswoman.

Jan, a friendly and pretty blonde, greeted Oscar cheerfully as he entered the store. However, today, Oscar asked if he could browse by himself for a bit before asking for her assistance. Jan agreed and let him wander around.

Just five minutes later, Jan came running up to him, shouting, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”

“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” Oscar exclaimed.

“No,” she replied calmly, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”

A farmer bought a little pot-bellied pet pig for his daughter.

The little girl affectionately called it “Stinky” when she played with it outside in the yard, but she referred to it as “Ballpoint” when it was in the pigsty.

Her father was curious and asked, “Why do you have two names for your pig?”

“That’s easy,” the daughter replied with a grin, “Ballpoint is just his pen name.”