Never say these things to your partner when you are angry
Refrain from saying these things
When tempers flare, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean. Sometimes, we get so swept up in the heat of the moment that we end up saying things we can’t take back. To help maintain a healthy relationship, here are five things you should absolutely avoid saying to your partner when you’re angry.
1. “You never” and “You always” accusations.
These phrases are loaded with blame and can be deeply hurtful. When you generalize your partner’s behavior by saying “You never” or “You always,” it corner’s them, making them feel attacked rather than understood. It is better to focus on specific behaviors and explain how they make you feel. For example, instead of saying “You never help with the housework,” try, “When you don’t help with the housework, it makes me feel overwhelmed.” This way, you open up a dialogue rather than shutting it down.
2. “So what?” and “Who cares?”
These dismissive statements can make your partner feel like their feelings and opinions don’t matter. While you might not agree with what they’re saying, it’s important to listen and show that you care. If your partner feels that their thoughts and feelings are being dismissed, it can create a gap in your communication and drive you further apart.
3. Intentionally pushing their buttons
When we’re angry, it can be tempting to say things that we know will hurt our partner the most. But doing this only builds resentment and damages trust. Instead of trying to win the argument by hitting where it hurts, take a step back and wait until you both can discuss your issues calmly. This shows respect and helps maintain the trust you’ve built.
4. Digging up the past
Bringing up past mistakes during a current argument can make the fight spiral out of control. It’s an unconstructive way to argue and can cause long-lasting damage. Try to stay focused on the issue at hand and resist the urge to bring up old wounds. This approach keeps the conversation relevant and productive.
5. Name-calling
No matter how angry you are, avoid name-calling at all costs. Calling your partner names is not only hurtful but it also chips away at the foundation of your relationship. Such words are hard to forget and can cause lasting pain. It’s always better to express your feelings without resorting to personal attacks.
