Navigating parenthood is always a challenging journey. With countless guidelines, traditions, and rules to consider, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising children. However, recently, a mother’s decision to stop cuddling with her daughter struck a chord with many on Reddit, stirring up quite the debate.

Let’s dive into the story to understand what’s causing all the commotion!

The Mother Shares Her Side

A 37-year-old woman took to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A*****e’ thread to discuss a recent incident involving her young daughter. She explained, “My daughter is very small for her age, which sometimes leads to her being treated like a younger child. She loves to hop into my or my husband’s lap and cuddle on the couch or in a chair.”

However, the mother had started to feel that perhaps her daughter, who is 11 years old, might be getting a bit too old for such cuddling. She worried she might even be harming her daughter by letting her continue this behavior.

The day before writing her Reddit post, her daughter attempted to climb into her lap for a cuddle. “I told her she was too old for that and to get off me,” the mother recounted. “She got really upset, got off me, and went to her room, slamming the door behind her.”

Since then, the daughter had stopped trying to cuddle with her, and tensions at home had increased. “She doesn’t talk to me unless necessary, and when I hugged her goodnight last night, she didn’t hug me back,” the woman explained, adding, “I feel really guilty because I obviously hurt her feelings, but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap.” Seeking advice, she asked fellow Redditors if she was in the wrong.

What Did the Internet Say?

The majority of Reddit users did not side with the mother, deeming her “the a*****e” in this situation. Many felt that she was throwing away precious bonding time with her daughter. The feedback was overwhelmingly critical.

One user pointed out, “She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it.”

Another commenter agreed but offered a more nuanced perspective: “There’s nothing wrong with directing a child towards more age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something is no longer comfortable for you. That’s part of helping a child grow up. But you do need to redirect them to a behavior that is appropriate because they need to be taught; they don’t automatically know. And reinforce that while your relationship with them is changing, your love for them is consistent.”

“If you told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now completely confused as to what sort of physical affection is okay or will get her snapped at,” they continued.

Another poignant comment came from someone who works in a nursing home: “We have a 78-year-old man who comes to visit his 99-year-old mother every week. She has dementia and they hold each other and light up. You never outgrow the need for love and affection from your parents.”

It raises a significant question. What would you have done if you were the mother in this situation? Do you have any advice for her?