Birthdays and family celebrations, usually wonderful opportunities to gather and share love, can sometimes bring about stress, especially when certain family relationships are strained. Recently, Sandra sought advice about a sensitive situation involving her husband and her daughter.

Let’s hear Sandra’s story in her own words.

Hello,

I have a 15-year-old daughter, Katie, from a previous relationship. I’ve been married to my husband, Adam, for 9 years now, and he’s raised Katie as his own. Our family is quite happy, except for occasional tension involving Adam’s oldest daughter, Willa.

Willa, who is 17, lives with her mom (Adam’s first wife) in another state. While I’m somewhat relieved by this arrangement due to her tendency to stir up drama and clash with Katie, Adam and Willa remain in frequent contact.

This year, Willa happened to be in town for Adam’s birthday. Naturally, he invited her to the celebration we were planning at his favorite restaurant.

I was fine with this until everything changed yesterday. I overheard Adam in Katie’s room, whispering so I wouldn’t hear.

Adam was asking Katie not to attend the party because Willa would be there. He explained he wanted to avoid any conflict since such unpleasantness has happened before when the two were together.

He promised Katie they would have another celebration together the next day.

I was in shock and quite frankly furious. In my anger, I called the restaurant and canceled the party. Adam still doesn’t know; he thinks everything is as planned.

Maybe I overreacted, but I’m still heartbroken and angry. I’d appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation.