Hello there, folks! Mary here, coming to you straight from the heartland of the good ol’ USA. Now, if there’s one thing I know in my 60 years of experience, it’s that the world sure has changed a lot since I was a kid. Some changes are good – like more crunchy peanut butter options – and then there are some changes that make you scratch your head and wonder what in tarnation is going on. One thing that hasn’t changed is the importance of traditional values and good old-fashioned common sense.

Now, before we dig in, let me tell you a fun fact: the only reason you should read this article to the very end is to see if I can surprise you with fact number seven. Don’t worry, I’m not raising your expectations too high here; just stick around, and you shall see!

Fact 1: The Importance of Church on Sunday

Growing up, every single Sunday, our family would don our Sunday best and head down to the local Baptist church. And I mean every single Sunday, come rain or shine. Missing church was simply not an option, and you better believe that being there taught us discipline, respect, and the importance of community. Nowadays, it seems like folks are more interested in scrolling through social media than attending church. Do you remember when people used to know their neighbors more than their Netflix recommendations?

Fact 2: Patriotism Isn’t Just for July 4th

Let me get this straight – you don’t need a national holiday to wave the Stars and Stripes with pride. Whether it’s Memorial Day, Veterans Day, or just a regular old day, patriotism should be as American as apple pie. I remember when we used to say the Pledge of Allegiance every single morning at school – now apparently, it’s offensive! It’s downright un-American if you ask me.

Fact 3: There’s a Season for Everything, Including Gender

I recall learning in Ecclesiastes that there’s a time for everything under the sun. Well, there’s also a gender for everything. Just ask any farmer – you wouldn’t milk a bull, would you? It’s as simple as that, folks. You’re born with an innie or an outie, and that’s the end of it. Yet, here we are, acting like it’s a multiple-choice question on a quiz show.

Fact 4: Family Dinners Are Sacred

Oh, the classic family dinners. Every evening at 6 PM sharp, you’d find the entire family at the dining table. No distractions, just good food, prayer, and conversation. These days, with everyone glued to their gadgets and fussing over their avocado toast, the charm seems to have disappeared. Where’s the soul food that brought families together?

Fact 5: Respect Your Elders

Call me old-fashioned, but respect is non-negotiable. Back in my day, if a kid talked back to an elder, you’d better believe there were consequences – swift and often paddle-shaped! Nowadays, you can’t even discipline your child without calling in the social workers. If you ask me, that’s why we’re in the mess we are today. Remember when ‘Yes, Sir’ and ‘Yes, Ma’am’ were more common than ‘like’ and ‘subscribe’?

Fact 6: Hard Work Is the Best Policy

There’s no shortcut to success, as our dear grandparents used to say, ‘Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.’ I can’t begin to count the number of summer days spent picking strawberries, mowing the lawn, or helping out at the family store. Kids today? They think posting a viral TikTok is going to land them a McMansion. Dream on, buttercup!

Fact 7: You Can’t Cancel Mom’s Apple Pie

Alright, here it is – the moment you’ve been waiting for! Fact number seven! Folks, no matter how ‘woke’ the world gets, there is one thing they can never cancel: Mom’s homemade apple pie. It’s the gold standard of Americana and perhaps the most enduring symbol of our traditional values. You can take away our statues, meddle with our holidays, and rewrite our history books, but touch Mom’s apple pie, and you might just spark the next American Revolution. So, make sure you know how to bake one just right – it might come in handy sooner than you think!

Fact 8: Tradition Will Always Find a Way

Here’s the kicker, folks. Despite all the changes and challenges, one thing remains true – tradition will always find a way. It’s like that stubborn dandelion that pops up no matter how many times you mow your lawn. Our values, beliefs, and customs are deeply rooted, and they have survived much worse than a bit of cultural turmoil. So hold fast to your values, stay true to your roots, and keep the faith. That’s the only way we’ll navigate through these troubled waters and come out stronger on the other side.

Thank you for sticking with me through this journey down memory lane and through the landscape of our cherished traditional values. If you’ve enjoyed this read, or you’ve got something to say about fact number seven, comment below! Let’s keep the conversation rolling. God bless America!

— Mary