Growing up, I always had big dreams of going to college. However, my dad had different expectations for my education. He had set up a college fund for me, but it came with a lot of stipulations.
He wanted to have control over my grades, my classes, and even have weekly meetings to discuss my progress. While these requirements may seem reasonable to some, they caused a lot of stress and anxiety for me.
You see, my dad has a temper. Throughout my middle and high school years, I constantly worried about getting yelled at or punished for things that sometimes weren’t even my fault. I remember one incident where a teacher didn’t update the online grading system, causing an assignment to be marked as “missing.” As a result, I was screamed at and grounded, even though it was completely out of my control. On top of that, my dad would randomly search my backpack and locker, just to make sure I wasn’t hiding anything. It felt like I was constantly living in fear of his disapproval.
Given the circumstances, I made the difficult decision to pay for college myself. I didn’t want to spend the next four years being controlled and constantly worrying about my dad’s approval. I would rather take on some student debt than sacrifice my independence and mental well-being.
Fast forward to a recent family gathering on the 4th of July. As usual, my family started discussing my cousin’s college expenses, and my uncle turned to my dad and asked, “How much is [my name]’s school costing you?” Without thinking, I replied, “Why are you asking him? I’m the one paying for it!” Little did my dad know, he was the wrong person to ask because he didn’t even know the tuition costs.
Later on, my dad was upset and accused me of embarrassing him. But let me be clear, I didn’t say it to embarrass him. I simply spoke the truth. I had taken control of my own education, and I wanted to make sure everyone knew it.
In the end, I don’t regret my decision to pay for college myself. It has given me the freedom and peace of mind to pursue my dreams without the constant fear of being controlled. And while my family may not fully understand my reasons, I know that I made the right choice for myself.
