That’s the phrase that is used the most. It’s a nice thing to do, but could you tell me if you really mean it? Tell me if you really believe it, because a lot of people say it just because they always have.

How have you been able to be together for so long?

A journalist once asked an elderly couple this very question. The eyes of the woman twinkled as she responded, “We were born in a time when broken things were fixed. I say, ‘Don’t throw everything away.’” I had to take a breath after hearing that. Nowadays, people often say that love isn’t love at all, but merely ownership. To be brutally honest, I think most people of our generation don’t really grasp the difference.

If you don’t know what to say, don’t say ‘I love you.’ Want to know how love is different from possession? Read on and I’ll explain.

Contrary to popular belief, true love isn’t blind. Nope, it sees everything clearly. The thing is, not everyone in a relationship experiences love the same way. It’s not some sort of tightrope act or a game of chance. It’s a perfect commitment, a 100 on a scale of 100. Your entire being is at stake—heart, soul, and all.

Don’t fall for the tricks. “I want you to be happy,” Love says.

While love whispers, “I want you to be happy,” possession shouts, “I want you to make me happy.” Possession is, in fact, the antithesis of love and is often fueled by addiction. Authentic love is built on a foundation of mutual respect and commitment.

Let’s analyze a bit: ‘my’ is central to possession, while ‘we’ is fundamental to love. Picture this—love is an expansive ocean while possession is a confining cage. Possession wants to be in control, whereas love strives for freedom. Love and possession are polar opposites. Possession loves to keep receipts of all the good deeds, but love forgets the score because we’re all on the same team.

Love doesn’t keep score, but reminds itself that we are all on the same team.

While love softens the heart, possession hardens it. Possession can pluck a flower from the ground, but love nurtures it, keeps it blooming. Love is transparent; possession is secretive. Love sees the soul; possession sees the body.

Love believes in the journey, in togetherness. Possession wants victory, to prove its superiority. Love connects; possession isolates. Love radiates light; possession dwells in darkness. The right perspective asks, ‘What is right?’ while possession asks, ‘Who is right?’

Of course, nothing is perfect—we know that. Love, like every living being, needs nourishment. But instead of getting a daily dose of understanding and forgiveness, we often settle for clichés. So, here’s the million-dollar question: Are you ready to persevere when things get tough? Do you choose love every single day? And, most importantly, are you willing to fix what’s broken? Do that, and happiness will follow you like a loyal shadow.