Bob was in quite a pickle. He had done the unthinkable – he forgot his wedding anniversary!

His wife was understandably furious. She looked him square in the eyes and said,

“Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that can go from 0 to 200 in six seconds flat. IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning, Bob woke up very early and left for work as usual. His wife woke up a little while later and looked out the window. To her surprise, there was a box, gift-wrapped and placed right in the middle of the driveway.

Curious and somewhat confused, she quickly threw on her robe, rushed outside to grab the box, and brought it back inside the house. Eagerly, she tore the wrapping paper off only to find a brand new bathroom scale inside.

That’s when Bob went missing – and he’s been missing since Friday.

In some religions, when you do something wrong, you talk to a priest. Depending on the severity of your actions, they might ask you to say specific prayers or give you some form of penance.

It’s a common circumstance for many, but not all adhere closely to these confessions. Interestingly, some folks have a knack for turning things around in their favor, even within systems seemingly set up for them to fail. Here’s a little humor to illustrate this point:

A teenage boy went to church to confess his sins. He said,

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

The priest asked, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“Who was the girl you were with?” continued the priest.

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

The priest persisted, “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say,” replied Joey.

“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed,” Joey responded.

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?” continued the priest.

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

“You’re very tight-lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned, and you have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for four months. Now go and be good,” said the priest, somewhat frustrated.

Joey went back to his pew, and his friend Franco slid over and whispered, “What’d you get?”

With a grin, Joey replied, “Four months of vacation and five good leads!”