My husband, Todd, and I have been happily married for 5 years. For the past 2 years, we’ve had an open marriage, which has brought a refreshing dynamic to our relationship.
When Todd first suggested the idea, I was hesitant. But after much thought, I realized an open marriage had more benefits than drawbacks for us. We’re both non-jealous by nature, and we deeply value honesty. We agreed it would be a temporary arrangement and would revert to a traditional marriage if either one of us felt uncomfortable.
Everything was smooth. Last December, I started dating another man, and we struck a great connection. Meanwhile, Todd was seeing another woman, but our love for each other remained strong. Last month, I discovered I’m pregnant with twins from my secondary partner.
It took me by surprise as I was on birth control. I needed some time to process the news before telling Todd. Initially, he was incredibly supportive, saying, “I love you, honey, and these babies are a part of you, so I will love them with all my heart, too.”
His reaction was a pleasant surprise. I have had multiple health issues with my reproductive system and was told conceiving would be unlikely. So, this pregnancy was a blessing, and I was thrilled at the thought of becoming a mom.
However, Todd’s feelings shifted when he realized the biological father intended to be a part of the twins’ lives. Todd’s mother had him as a teenager, and he was raised by a stepdad while having a distant relationship with his biological father.
Though Todd had always wanted more involvement from his biological dad, he now expects these babies to have no connection with their biological father, which baffles me. Todd began expressing doubts about our happiness with the kids in our lives.
It all came to a head at 3 am yesterday. Todd left me a letter before his business trip, saying I have to choose between the babies or our marriage, hinting at divorce otherwise.
I’m deeply conflicted. Considering my medical history, this might be my only chance to have children, and what if I never get this opportunity again? This dilemma has added immense pressure on me. I’m in dire need of advice on how to navigate living with Todd while also embracing the arrival of these babies.
