Last year, Jake and Mary Jacobs marked a significant milestone – 70 years of marital bliss. Their journey together, however, hasn’t been devoid of challenges and societal hurdles.
Mary, a white woman, met Jake, a black man, in the 1940s in Britain. Despite living in a city, Jake was among the few black men, making their relationship stand out even more.
Mary could have walked away from the difficulties, but love compelled her to stay, even after being warned by her father. She recalls, “When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Their paths crossed when Jake came to Britain from Trinidad during the war. They both attended the same technical college – Mary for typing and shorthand lessons, and Jake, training with the Air Force. Mary, who lived in Lancashire, was impressed by Jake’s knowledge of Shakespeare. Their bond grew stronger over time.
The duo, along with their friends, went on a picnic, where they were seen by a local lady who reported their meeting to Mary’s father. This caused her father to forbid her from seeing Jake again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they kept in touch through letters. A few years later, Jake came back to the U.K. for better job prospects. During this visit, he asked Mary to marry him. She was 19 and said yes. However, her family’s reaction was harsh, and they threw her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase to my name. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
I left with only one small suitcase to my name. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.
Mary experienced societal disapproval not just from her family but also from strangers. The couple faced severe ostracism in Birmingham.
Living conditions were tough. People wouldn’t talk to them, and finding a place to live was nearly impossible as no one rented to a black man. They had no money, and the early years were particularly harsh. Mary recalls crying every day and struggling to find solace.
The couple saw a flicker of hope when Mary became pregnant, looking forward to welcoming their child. Tragically, the baby was stillborn at eight months. Mary shares, “It wasn’t related to the stress I was under, but it broke my heart, and we never had any more children.”
As years passed, life became a bit more comfortable. Mary pursued a teaching career, ultimately becoming an assistant principal, while Jake secured a job with the Post Office. They made new friends, although Mary often felt the need to explain beforehand that her husband was black.
Reflecting on her relationship with her father, Mary mentions, “My father died when I was 30, and although we reconciled, he never approved of Jake.”
‘Subjected to Abuse Every Day’
Jake sheds light on the intense racial prejudices he faced, “When I arrived in the U.K., I was subjected to abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’”
In those days, job opportunities were limited for black men. Jake recounts, “Back then, you couldn’t work in an office because a black man in an office with all the white girls wasn’t considered safe.”
Despite the adversities, the prejudices, and the abuse, their love prevailed. They managed to create a life together and recently celebrated over 70 years of marriage. Their enduring relationship stands as a testament to their unyielding love and commitment.
The love Jake and Mary share has truly conquered all challenges, making them an inspiring couple. Here’s to wishing them many more years of happiness.
